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I know what men are

I know what men are.

Men drink and are routinely unfaithful,
Can’t see beyond the ends of their dicks,
Have faces like hams and wrinkled cardboard
Or are bold, sweaty and frightening –

I know what men are.

Men drive fast cars,
Like motorbikes,
Will kill for the sake of twopence,
Shoot off their mouths,
Fart, bellyache and grumble.

I know what men are.

Men are insane,
Out of control,
Vicious,
Or ‘poofy’, ‘pansies’,
Vain and vainglorious.

No no no!

I know what men are!

Real men are the ones that don’t buy the magazines that say these things,
Don’t go down to the pub for a mindless drink,
Can even (apparently) occasionally think!

I know what men are.

Men cuddle babies and can stand up for themselves in fights
With their wives (and sometimes win).

Men are prepared to challenge:
Preconceptions
Misconceptions
Adulterated thinking,

Men
Will go the extra mile
(Not always on a motorbike, but it helps),

Men
Like to be cuddled, caressed and have loving, faithful sex,

Men like emotions,
The crisp leaves of autumn.
Cats.
Machines.
The sky.
Stars.
Buildings.
Women.
Love.
Fishing.
Being,
Staying at home.

Men are not monsters.

I know what men are.

Men like to be involved.

They like passion and commitment.

They like fun and horsing around
(Though not necessarily horses),
Men like little children (not always to eat),
They know how to change nappies,
Tell a story
And create dreams.

Men are brilliant!

I know what men are.

Oct. 2001

A humorous poem about men. We’re not THAT bad 🙂
And here’s a companion poem about women

13 Comments     0 Pings

By Anonymous Tue May 20th 2014 at 6:15 pm  

WOW I LOVE IT

By Beatrece Varga Tue Apr 10th 2012 at 9:21 pm  

I found the poem serious, actually. It sounded as if some woman or women have had a preconcieved idea about a man, who is not they way they think at all. I kind of understand this, being a woman who has spent years being abused, I sometimes catorgorize all men the same, pigeon hole them. This was a very good poem, but ubfortunately, not what I was looking for.

By Souziu Tue Feb 7th 2012 at 9:32 am  

Nicely elaborated….still i felt something humorously missing.

By Lola Tue Dec 13th 2011 at 7:57 am  

This poem, a child should not even read it, DUH….. I liked both verses, because it showed two sides, the pigs and the real men. Loved it 🙂

By Michelle Sun Dec 19th 2010 at 12:49 pm  

I like it!!!! i think it points out alot of what men really are it got me laughing and even my man liked it!!

By Adam Thu May 13th 2010 at 10:37 am  

ha ha ha that wasn’t accurate at all, that may be sexist

By Pauline Wed May 12th 2010 at 7:49 am  

Your poem made laugh, it brought tears to my eyes.It’s true all men aren’t bad I wouldn’tchange mind for the world. So funny but true!

By marie Wed Jan 20th 2010 at 6:03 am  

i think this is brilliant not all men are the same and there are some truly amazing men in this world but they are overshadowed by the monsters, im lucky to have a guy who is wonderful and a brilliant father and he has changed my opinion on how amazing men can be……

By monica Fri Jan 8th 2010 at 7:58 pm  

lol this was an ok poem, but i agrue with the last person. this isnt ofr kids. sorry 🙂

By Maria Mishina Sun Sep 27th 2009 at 3:59 pm  

it was good
but i dont think its a poem for children because its says word (SEX)

********** You’re right. It’s not really for children. But I’m going to leave that word in because I’m contrary. Sorry. :-)*********

By Anonymous Wed May 20th 2009 at 10:38 pm  

I LOVE THIS POEM. IT’S NOT JUST A GENERALIZATION OF ALL MEN. NOT ALL MEN ARE THE SAME AND THIS POEMS HITS THE NAIL ON THE HEAD.

By monica Mon May 11th 2009 at 3:06 pm  

Hysterical about the first comment. I bustd out laughing. men should not write poems

By Anonymous Tue Dec 2nd 2008 at 1:23 pm  

>< i think the first 2 verses were more accurate..

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