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I know what women are

I know what women are.

Women drag knives down each others’ backs,
Stick in the small-minded safety of the group,
Raucously protect their stupidity with vicious rage –

I know what women are.

Women are two-timing, hard-faced liars thinking only of themselves,
Manipulative snakes in the grass,
Daubed fools knowing it all in a nightmare of errors.

I know what women are.

Women collect shoes, marry crooks for money, incite their men,
Use their mind-skills to evade personal responsibility,
Are jealous, mean-spirited, calculating and cold.

I know what women are.

No no no!

Women are not like that!

Women are full of love,
Dream for their children,
Race boats,
Cross rivers,
Climb mountains
And perform complex surgery on brain-dead men. 🙂

Women sing with soft voices,
Scream with laughter in the bar,
Dance round midnight fires on sandy beaches
And crawl home exhausted in the early hours.

I know what women are.

Women fart loudly, belch proudly,
Pick their noses, eat scabs,
And look immaculate to the boss.
They pray for peace,
Braid hair,
Cuddle toddlers,
Eat too much chocolate
And throw computers out of windows.

I know what women are!

Women are brilliant!


This is a companion poem to I know what men are

6 Comments     1 Ping

By Oriana Tue Feb 17th 2015 at 8:29 pm  

The poem reminds me of my mother and her personality. I like the poem, it was hilarious and also entertaining…:)

By miss portia p Wed Jul 11th 2012 at 9:22 am  

wow..lol.dat ws amazing and not to mention cool.i wld b offended but i think u r kinda ryt.i like i like

By macs Fri May 28th 2010 at 11:12 pm  

Hahaha! Yeah,I knew some women who are just like that (the first part). But then, most of of them are in the latter category.

By daily journal Mon May 17th 2010 at 10:13 pm  

i love this poem!!!!

By Pauline Wed May 12th 2010 at 8:03 am  

Gee wizz I felt that slap hit hard, but none the less what you say is true of some of us. I am just happy to say that although I am not perfect I am not that bad..

By summer Sat Mar 13th 2010 at 9:14 pm  

JACKPOT!!! Thats exactly how they are(the first part), well around this town any ways

By I know what men are - Richard Macwilliam: Poems, kid's poems Fri May 10th 2019 at 3:17 pm  

[…] A humorous poem about men. We’re not THAT bad ? And here’s a companion poem about women […]


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